kasey (allthingsshiny) wrote,

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Grey day

Thank you, all that have offered words of support. It is appreciated.

Michael and I are going to bury the puppy, when the rain stops and when I have something to dig up the ground with. I could take him to work and have him cremated, but that doesn't feel right. For whatever reason, I have this desire to put him in the ground and keep him close.

I knew all day yesterday that it would happen ... he wasn't doing well. I tried all day to nurse him through it, and eventually I knew that it was past hope, and I put him in his basket with his hot water bottle and tucked his blanket around him ... checked on him later, and all gone ...

and i cried. no being tough for this, i cried. And Michael is very sweet, he held on to me, and poor Charles was over here watching movies with us and was subjected to this hyperemotional event and was also very sweet about it.

We found a little box, and I made some blankets for him from white linens i had, and soon i will put him in the ground.

After all this happened last night, i drank whiskey. Nice and numbing.

I don't want to go into work tonight and have to explain why I don't have him with me. I don't want to rehash this over and over. I should just print up flyers.

As much as i tried to deny it, I would have kept him ... two chihuahuas are no more trouble than one ...

Gotta get ready for school, now ...

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