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disaster.

Family blowup tonight, with repercussions yet to be seen. It's bad when i get my mom to tell me "Fuck you." That usually isn't her style.

I spent a good deal of time tonight trying to figure out if I can afford to cut all ties to my family ... truth is, i doubt i can. Not if i want to go to school, and if i don't go to school, I'm stuck in the same position I'm in. I don't want to spend the rest of my life trying to scrape by.

Nursing school keeps looking like a better and better idea ... I could be done in less than four years. Which means that much less dependence on my family, and that much sooner on my own. I dunno, though. The present is overwhelming enough that i'm having a really hard time looking at plans for the future objectively. I don't even know how to get into nursing school.

I don't want to face my family in the morning. I don't want to receive the dirty look from my mom. I wanted to go home, but since my car is going to be towed back to orange county, i have to wait down here for it if i want to get any of my stuff out. If it's not too cold in the morning, maybe I'll just sleep in my car in front of the house ... i'm sure they'll love that. It'll give the neighbors something to talk about.
Maybe I'll stay at Michael's and at least not have to deal with this alone.

they called me into work four hours early. isn't that just the cherry on top.

sorry if it seems like i've been ignoring people lately. it's just that i'm not in a good place and i can barely handle myself. What I wouldn't do for a valium and a beer right now ...

Comments

( 12 made me bleed — cut me )
alexvdl
Nov. 19th, 2003 04:26 am (UTC)
I know what you do if life gives you lemons. But what the fuck do you do if life gives you Cherries?
allthingsshiny
Nov. 19th, 2003 04:43 am (UTC)
take the cherry. place it on top of a vodka collins. drink.
alexvdl
Nov. 19th, 2003 10:30 am (UTC)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I see.
allthingsshiny
Nov. 19th, 2003 11:47 am (UTC)
alternately ...

take said cherries. eat cherries, saving pits. load cherry pits into shotgun cartridge. fire cherry pits through forehead of female parental unit.

things keep getting better around here, can you tell?
alexvdl
Nov. 19th, 2003 12:13 pm (UTC)
Kasey. geeze. I thought you knew better than that. You'd damage the Shotgun. *G*

Dave collects guns. And he's got a Class 2 license. Which means he's allowed to build, buy, sell, and fire fully automatic weaponry. He says some day we'll head out there. *G*
allthingsshiny
Nov. 19th, 2003 12:30 pm (UTC)
aw ... i wanna play with shiny new guns.
alexvdl
Nov. 19th, 2003 12:39 pm (UTC)
I'll see what I can do if you're ever out on this coast.
eamajyn
Nov. 19th, 2003 02:13 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you have to deal with that crap. Female parental unites seem to be defective I swear.

It's awesome that you have someone that could be there for you so you don't have to deal with this alone. I know what it feels like to need to be away from people because it's hard to handle yourself. I'm going through it to, and I'm not doing a very good job.

*hugs*

I hope things don't get much worse. I'll send any good vibes I can spare.
allthingsshiny
Nov. 20th, 2003 01:01 am (UTC)
things are looking up, in some ways ... relationship with the male parental unit is improved, though my mom isn't speaking to either of us.

i actually went out and was a bit social today ... and it wasn't too bad.

hope things improve for you ... feeling any better?
conrax
Nov. 19th, 2003 02:40 pm (UTC)
***I spent a good deal of time tonight trying to figure out if I can afford to cut all ties to my family ... truth is, i doubt i can. ***

Been there. Been there. Been there.
allthingsshiny
Nov. 20th, 2003 12:59 am (UTC)
so ... did you?
(Anonymous)
Nov. 20th, 2003 11:44 pm (UTC)
Helllloooooooooo Nurse
Yet another post from the infamous anonymous user, (one day i should get a journal).
So you want to be a nurse eh? I think that you would make a great one. You already know how to stick needles into animals as well as humans, that is one step up from me. I'll see what information I can find for you, I already told you yesterday about that organization, I'll pick up an application for you on Monday if you would like. Though it is tough starting out, Nurses are always needed, so I think that you should go for it, I am.

-Kelly
( 12 made me bleed — cut me )

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