I spent a good deal of time tonight trying to figure out if I can afford to cut all ties to my family ... truth is, i doubt i can. Not if i want to go to school, and if i don't go to school, I'm stuck in the same position I'm in. I don't want to spend the rest of my life trying to scrape by.
Nursing school keeps looking like a better and better idea ... I could be done in less than four years. Which means that much less dependence on my family, and that much sooner on my own. I dunno, though. The present is overwhelming enough that i'm having a really hard time looking at plans for the future objectively. I don't even know how to get into nursing school.
I don't want to face my family in the morning. I don't want to receive the dirty look from my mom. I wanted to go home, but since my car is going to be towed back to orange county, i have to wait down here for it if i want to get any of my stuff out. If it's not too cold in the morning, maybe I'll just sleep in my car in front of the house ... i'm sure they'll love that. It'll give the neighbors something to talk about.
Maybe I'll stay at Michael's and at least not have to deal with this alone.
they called me into work four hours early. isn't that just the cherry on top.
sorry if it seems like i've been ignoring people lately. it's just that i'm not in a good place and i can barely handle myself. What I wouldn't do for a valium and a beer right now ...