I'm thinking of taking a short trip to my parent's place in the desert for a couple days. In between shifts and such. I don't know if I want to go alone, or try to find some to go with me. Most everyone has school, anyway. A few days of solitude might be good for me, or it might not ... I'm spending so much time by myself anymore, and I think it's making me a little crazy. I was in a good mood all weekend, and I get home, alone, and I'm sad again. I'm alone at work. I'm alone at home. I enforce my own solitude on Mondays, and I had a reason for it, but I'm not completely sure anymore if it's worth whatever reason I came up with.
Back to my subject ... the idea of spending a few days in the desert where I grew up is sounding appealing to me ... on the sand, next to the water, with a few books and a bit of music ... I just have to find the time and get myself to do it.
So I was driving the other day, and came across the coolest street name ... Flaming Arrow Drive. How fucking tough is that? I want to live on a tough street. But I get Orchid. How annoyingly girly. I want to say, when asked my address, "I live at 125 Knife Through the Neck Avenue." Or something cool like that.
I want to get my sewing machine set up, so I would have something to do ... I'm so out of practice, it's going to be a while before I'm as good as I was. I guess I can make scrubs for a while, that's easy enough. I need a table before I can do anything.
Johnny would totally treasure me ... Johnny would be there for me whenever I need him ... and Johnny would be so bad for me. I don't want to fall back into old habits, of any sort ... but I want someone to give a fuck about me. I don't want to settle. I don't want to wait around forever for anybody, either. I need to be able to be a strong person on my own. I am.
