May 4th, 2003


Somethings I've learned as of late ...

Everyone (almost) wants to make out with me, and no one has seen me cry.

I noted that, about the crying ... It probably is odd that my closest friends do not see me cry. I do cry. I cry on the drive home sometimes. I cried at Jeff's funeral. I cry when I'm alone.

It may be a control issue with me ... no one is allowed to see me cry. No one is allowed to see me hurt. No one gets that close. Some do. But rare.

"If the outside is perfect, then everything inside is okay, right?"

I had lots of other things I wanted to write, but this is what got written.

I'm off to Vegas today ... I will have a travelling companion, another old roomie, Chris, who found out Jesse is in Vegas and wants to see him ... so it's going to be my old apartment group all together, minus Circ who is in Wyoming or some such place. Most strange. I haven't seen any of these people in years ... since i cleaned up. I had never expected to hear from Chris again, he disappeared, but he tracked me down.

This is going to be interesting.
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