June 8th, 2003

eyes

I don't even know where to begin ...

I don't even really know where I left off ...

Friday ... friday I came down to OC, dropped flea off at my mom's, and went out to dinner at dreammadeflesh's place of employment. Spent a pleasant bit of time there, reading and eating and talking and watching him be a tip whore. That in itself is a good amount of entertainment.

After that, stopped by TC for a few ... got to catch a couple minutes of eamajyn singing, which was very cool and sounded wonderful. Saw Mikey there, who I haven't seen in quite a while ... interesting news from him, apparently Zach is joining the Army ... I find that so funny ... and after I stopped laughing at that, I grabbed Marine Justin and we went to margarthemighty's party ...

The party was fun, less stress than I anticipated. Justin was all sorts of humorous, I can't even begin to explain. having lots of fun with gardening tape. I know i told stephinextremis i would write about the party, but I have so little memory left for details ... it was nice to get together with everyone ... people drifted in and out, bigbrother sang obscene songs at me, margarthemighty got quite drink but not too drunk. Everyone went away, I ended up talking to Michael out front of Marge's house for a bit, and went to my mom's house eventually.

And Saturday ... yesterday ... Ben worked on my hair. The plan was to go red ... so we bleached it until i could feel my scalp burning ... and I had brought red dye, we put it on ... it's very red. Like very, very red. Brighter than I expected ... I took a pic, and my webcam isn't doing the color justice, but it's as good as I can get for now. I need to put another coat on some spots that didn't take so well, but I left the dye at ben's. ack.

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So I went by my mom's house after doing that, and now my mother isn't speaking to me.

That's really digging at me ... My mother won't talk to me, won't look at me, because of my hair color. The one person in my life who I wish would just be happy with me, be happy for me ... On one level, I think, if she's so shallow that she can't get past how i look, that's her problem and not mine ... and on another level, I just wish she would like me.

But what am i going to to ... this has been going on since I was a little one ...

Dropped back by TC, where Steph had brought me some totally wonderful pineappley cake stuff. Steph rocks just for that. And then to work ... my hair got quite a reaction, but none of it was "you have to change it", so I think I'm safe with it for at least a few more days ...

and sleep, and plans for company and movie watching tonight ... hopefully.
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