June 23rd, 2003


(no subject)

I went to the river ... i am so happy ... had a great, wonderful, beautiful time ...

so many moments i want to hang on to forever ... sitting on the beach friday night, at the edge of the water and under a million stars ... all quiet and peaceful and no one around ... just michael and i talking and looking at the sky and the water ...

and being on the beach with friends, in the sun, in the water ...

lying in the sun, eating strawberries and drinking coronas ...

and michael driving the dunebuggy outside camp, with me trying (and failing) to remember in the dark where the trails are ...

and being on top of the hill, hearing stories of old friends i'd long forgotten ...

and trying to drive a boat i've never driven before ...

and so many other things ...

and i was extraordinarily happy until two minutes ago, and someone has to call me and put doubts into my head ... fuck. this is why i went away for the weekend, to get away from all the drama ... everything was good ... try to warn me, like i'm not smart enough to make my own choices. i know i am gullible, i know i am naive, but i am allowing myself to trust here ... and don't try to make me second guess myself. people in glass houses ...

but fuck it ... i have made a decision to trust, to believe, to love ... and i won't let gossip and petty drama get in the middle of that ...


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we listened to Bill Hicks all the way there and all the way back ... that man was great, so funny and so intelligent ... i wish he was still around to give commentary on the current state of affairs, but another one who died young ...

i worry about my little brother ... he gets quite drunk ... and from the stories i hear from his friends this is the usual habit ... he makes jokes about how he starts with the beer first thing in the morning and that scares me a bit ... i would be a hypocrite if i expected him to be an angel, but it's the amount consumed that worries me ...

in summary ... i'm happy ... i went to a place i love, a place that is so good for me, with one I care so much about, i had fun ... life is wonderful, life is beautiful, and nothing reminds me of that like the sand and stars and water.

"holding on to you, holding on to me, holding on tight ...

Just be my angel
If you love me
Be my angel
In the night
Be my angel
Cause you need me
Be my angel
And treat me right "
  • Current Music
    Mazzy Star - Halah

Meetup? Napoleon? Silver toed one eyed gay chihuahua?

So is anyone going to this Meetup thing tomorrow? I'm thinking maybe, depending on who is going to be there ... otherwise I'll probably just kick around the house ...

Went to school tonight ... wrote many pages of notes on the French Revolution and Napoleon and the Monroe Doctrine and industrialism ... I have a midterm Wednesday, and I'm all sorts of nervous about it. So I'm hoping for slow tonight at work, and I'll try to get some studying done. But in hoping for slow I have just cursed myself to early morning surgeries and monitoring of criticals. That's always how it works.

Vet techs are a superstitious bunch ... we never, ever, say "bloat" out loud ... never boast of being able to hit a vein before we have actually hit it ... never mention that we hope it will be either busy or slow ... if we think something big and unfun is on it's way in, we will set up for whatever procedure will need to be done, as that will guarantee either the animal will die in transport or the owner will elect to euthanize before treatment. You learn all these rules quickly as a tech.

So yeah, I went to school, now I'm just killing time before work ... It is nice to be at home with a bit of free time ... spending it plotting how I'm going to take over the world ...

And my dog is so cute right now ... I painted his toenails silver ... I think I'm going to put his little rainbow hanky on him tonight ... but he's always cute. I'd bring him down and show him off, but my shoulders are all sunburny and I don't really want him jumping all over my burnt skin.

Between paying all my bills the other night and going to the river, money is tight again ... maybe i should be working more ... or driving less ... i think I have cut most of my really unnecessary expenses ... if i could cook with any efficiency, I would save money on food ... at least there is another holiday coming up, July 4, that always helps my paycheck. maybe i should take up stripping ... heh.

oh, and this ...

You are Dave Lister. You are the last surviving
human. You have personal habits that make
people sick, and your skill at playing the
guitar has driven people mad. You hate Rimmer,
and just want to get back to Earth to have your
little fiji and a donut stand.

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and this ...

Lister - You are deeply misunderstood. You have
dreams and ambitions - it's just that people
can't see them past your slovenly, lazy, crass,
unwashed, beer-guzzling exterior.

The Ultimate Red Dwarf Quest towards Self-Discovery
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I'm such a geek sometimes.
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