January 20th, 2004


Could someone please pull this knife out of my back?

Work issues are really getting to me.

the latest? A girl ... a relief tech who doesn't even work here, who is picking up shifts that she volunteered for, totally backstabbed me on Sunday.

She, as far as I can tell, is upset that I asked her to keep the gossip under control. So she writes a letter to the board complaining about me. Saying I left the hospital a mess (not true) and did nothing on my Saturday night shift.

I saw her Sunday morning. She was nice. She brought me breakfast, for fuck's sake. She stated no disapproval over the condition of the hospital. She saw how busy we were. And she doesn't even work here.

I don't see why she felt the need to write a letter to the board ... a half page completely attacking me. I don't know if her best friend (who works here and also seems to have some resentment toward me) put her up to it. She may just be holding a huge grudge at me for reprimanding her.

What really bothers me is that I saw her for an hour that morning and she was nothing but smile and sweet and playing nice. I've known her for six years. When shifts came up as being open, I offered them to her and she was (seemed?) happy to take them.

If you're going to have a professional issue with me, have it to my face. This is why I hate working with women.

I have developed this feeling that I am being attacked from multiple angles. Sometimes I get paranoid, but I've thought this through and discussed it with my superior and with Michael, and it looks to be the truth. So how to fight this? Go on the defensive and appear to be the bitch that they think I am? Ignore it, and risk it getting worse? Punish, and maybe lose the people that I need to fill shifts?

My job is hard enough without petty personal shit.

I've got to call two clients in the morning to explain to them why they have to pay their bills.
I've got to call two doctors in the morning for various issue. Both of them will probably be too busy to talk to me.
I've got to call the OC Register about placing an ad, since the guy I hired for full-time now only wants part-time.
I've got to go to the post office for stamps.
I've got to go to Staples for envelopes and printer toner.
I've got to sleep and wake up and do this all over again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I'm so glad I'm going away for the weekend. I get to ride my bike, in the sand and over the hills.
I get to show Michael one more of the things I love. I hope he loves it too ... and even if he doesn't love the quads, the desolate beauty out there is incredible. Nothing but miles and miles of flowing sand. Remedy for my aching brain.

wish me luck in getting through the week.
  • Current Music
short and red

I got the money if you got the time

I sit here, stuffed on Christmas cookies ... my mom decided that she had to make Christmas cookies, as she felt guilty that she did not make them for Christmas. and she calls me strange.

Breakfast with devilsbitchboy this morning ... Mimi's, as usual ... such a pleasant little break in the day. I felt bad because I received a phone call from work in the middle of it that I had to take ... he didn't seem to mind too much. Anyway, most pleasant. I love seeing him.

My work now owes me $465 dollars ... the cost of a classified ad, plus an office supply run I made today. Now, I don't really have $465 to spare, so I'm hoping reimbursement does not get delayed for any reason. Why am I risking my own money here?

Work just called again. I have to go in early tonight. Fortunate me.

Hiding today ... I could have gone out, but I can't ... I just don't think I'm able to deal with people right now.

So people ... tell me some good books to read, as I'm in need of inspiration ...
  • Current Music
    Bright Eyes - Lover I Don't Have to Love