March 9th, 2004

francine upset

my attitude problem???

Fuck ... i just wrote half an entry, minimized the window to do something else, and when I restored the window ... all gone.
Bastards.

basic points of previously written entry:
- I left my cell phone at work and feel naked without it.
- I didn't get out of work until after 10am, due to being on the phone with Dell's godawful tech support, and talking to four people before figuring out what the problem was. We didn't find a solution, either, but at least I got the computer running.
- Rick is still being a bastard to me at work. I'm going to go in tonight and ask him what the fuck his problem with me is.
- Dr. Harris thinks the problem is entirely with my attitude(!!!) and i should just go to Rick and apologize for what I've done wrong(???). So apparently, his theft, insubordination, refusal to wear the uniform, absenteeism, and tardiness is entirely due to my attitude.
- I'm getting really fucking sick of Dr. Harris' Pollyanna attitude.

I think that just about covers what i had already written.

Maybe I should have gone out tonight. I've been up since before six. I haven't taken a shower. I miss seeing some people, but i'm so disconnected that i don't know how to find anyone i care about anymore. I'm afraid to go out in public, and dealing with people i like seems to also involve dealing with people i don't like, and i don't really want to do that. Maybe I'll go into work early. Get some shit done on the computer. send my collections people away to collections. do the drug logs i haven't done for two weeks.
I don't think anyone there really knows how much work i actually do.

My dog is giving me this expectant look, like i'm supposed to be doing something. I never do anything, i don't know where he's getting these ideas.

My uber-sexay victoria's secret stuff was delivered today. This makes me happy. My mom was here hovering over me while i opened it, making snarky comments about the stuff I wear. I told her that the slips i got were just things to wear around my house, and got an earful on how they were completetly inappropriate to wear in my own house. yeah. she is so puritanical.

I should join a gym. Maybe after i get that raise I want.
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