a treasure chest of lust and mortal sin

So far, I haven't received any phone calls/e-mails/pigeon couriered messages stating that i'm fired. I'm kinda sad about that. I kinda want to be unemployed, of only for a couple of days. I'm envious of Cody.

My parents are bewildered ... "you're trying to get fired???"

It's amazing ... I'm feeling so much better, now that I don't give a flying fuck about my job. Quite the monkey off of my back.

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I'm going to the river tonight. I'm so excited about that, even if i do have to bring my mom's dog with me. I need this. heh. maybe after this i'll be able to, you know, speak to people again. maybe even in person. wouldn't that be fucking amazing. i feel bad ... every time marge tries to talk to me, i'm otherwise occupied. Sleeping, sobbing ... i called last night but it was probably too late.

but yeah ... sand and sun and water ... michael ... it's all i really need ...

and i'll have my laptop with me, so i can still keep up on things ... heaven forbid i be disconnected ... cell phone may or may not be on ... i may just carefully screen my calls ...

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and in two hours, i'm going to see the psychologist ... a little bit nervous about this, really ... she sent me this questionnaire thingy to fill out before our first visit, and some of the questions were a little tough to answer ... not difficult tough, but tough to own up to ... stuff i don't like writing down.

we'll see how it goes, i guess.

just killing time, before i go to the store for river food ...

i got quite a bit done today ... went to the psychologist, got an amazing amount of issues hashed out in fifty minutes, i'm hoping my insurance covers it, cause i'm going back next week.

took michael to go pick up his car ... the advice of my lovely grouchy mechanic is that he should not invest one more penny in it, and start over with a new car ... i'm inclined to agree, as much as i know he loves his car ...

went to a store, found bikinis and bikini cover-ups that don't overly emphasize the pudginess ... no hiding the pasty whiteness, though. got a new purse, cuz the straps on mine are about to go, and i know it would happen at a horribly inconvenient time. bought a watch with a huge face and little pink bows.

still haven't gotten fired. amazing.

called people i know at the insurance company, let them know i want to come back, asked them to put in good words for me. apparently there's a place available in the department i want to be in ... hope i hear before i go to the interview at the hospital.

i just burnt a cd with lots of songs for the drive to the river ... one of the songs was mislabeled, and that irritates me so much more than it should ... just one of those things i had to hear this weekend, and i cannot. grr. small annoyances.

marge just called ... i was so afraid when it rang that it was going to be work ... heh ... i'm not the best with direct confrontation ...

and now i'm just lagging ... i can't believe i'm actually going to be out there tonight ...