June 11th, 2004


posting from work again ...

so i'm not that good with computers, but good enough to figure out how to get online at every place i work ...

i did not have a good night tonight. I am not being stable/rational/understanding/nice. i do not like when i am like this. i say things i wish later i had worded differently. i need to be more empathetic to the feelings of others. i need to see from a point of view besides my own. i shouldn't be so selfish. i wish i was better at reading people.

be glad you weren't around me tonight.

to the one who was, who probably won't read this anyway, i'm sorry. please forgive me?

work is dull. Flea is with me again. there are six animals here.
1. chihuahua - HBC, neuro, broken jaw.
2. tortie cat - pleural effusion, poss secondary to FIP
3. cairn terrier - bite wounds we sewed up.
4. b/w cat - swollen paw
5. shih tzu - vomiting, collapsed, we don't know what the fuck is wrong with it.
6. pit X - parvo.

And i'm being receptionist tonight. No one told me when i agreed to do it that i would have to be receptionist. Apparently the other girl here doesn't do the front ... but i haven't done it in ages, and the paperwork has changed, and management doesn't want me doing it. i'm not so happy about this, but i'm doing it.

tomorrow, i don't have a whole lot of plan besides sleep. Maybe shenai. there's a group that meets in fullerton, and i know one of them, and he invited me ... so maybe. if michael wants to go. i don't want to show up to a shenai group as a girl by myself.

i should be more ambitious, should go out and be social, do something. but that's all i really want to do.

unless anyone knows of anything better going on...????

right now, i want a beer most of all. and a bagel. mmmm ... bagel. with creamy creamy cheesy cream. *drool*
the cravings i get in the middle of the night, when i can't leave work to get anything.

he liked the hat. i bought more yarn.
i want to make a baby hat for my friend's due-in-three-months kid.

there are people who are gone from my life that i really miss. tina. jill, when she wasn't being crazy. jesse. sirhc. sammy. renee.
and there are people that i don't miss. the ones that i purposefully cut out of my life. my therapist thinks that it is odd that i intentionally cut people out of my life, so deliberately and without remorse. i don't think it's a bad thing. why deal with those who i don't want to deal with?
but i'm sure there's something wrong with me.

most of the time i'd rather not deal with anyone. is that a bad thing, too?

all the cats in the hospital are all pissed off and hissing. and the (4) blood donor cats are running around. it's a fucking cat-fest in here.
and poor flea is just running around, trying not to get swatted at. one cat already beat him up tonight.

whatever did i do at work before the interweb?
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