March 31st, 2005


(no subject)

I have a horrible craving for something carby and gooey and bad for my diet. I want something bad for me.
I looked online for any 24 hour stores around here, but the closest one is 20 minutes away, and i don't know that i really want to commit to that. Maybe tomorrow i'll go to coldstone or something, and hope that works.

I'm sorta doing my homework, but mostly not. I could't sleep this morning, couldn't wake up tonight, and now i'm sad, crampy, groggy, and lazy. I made stir fry and it just didn't taste good. I'm restless with nowhere to go and no time, anyway.

Supposedly, i'll get over this eventually, and supposedly, i won't cry every time i think of him, but i it hasn't happened yet, and i don't know how to make it happen. It won't leave my mind ... and the idea that this is so wrong isn't going away, either. my heart is filled with regret, and i'd give anything to fix what went wrong.

i want to not hurt.

how horrible is it that i just want to curl up in his arms?
  • Current Music
    Al Green - Ain't No Sunshine



So this is my crappy webcam pic of my lasered tattoo. I would post a better pic, but it's hard to take a good pic of my own shoulder. Anyway, the tattoo should start fading once the inflammation goes down. I'll probably have to do the treatment 3-5 more times before it's gone completely.

They were really nice where I had it done. I went directly after work. The nurse (and she was an RN) explained how it worked, and all the risks to my skin (discoloration, keloids, "sunburn" feeling). I looked through a book of before, after, and in-process pics. Some stuff didn't completely come out - I guess green is more difficult to remove. But there were some impressive ones - a fair-skinned girl with a large dark tattoo on her shoulder, completely gone. I don't care if there's still traces of this, as long as it's not really visible. Someday I'll cover the whole area with something beautiful.

She asked if i wanted to start that day, and of course i did. It hurt. Not unbearably, and it was quick, maybe 10 minutes, but damn. like being branded many small times. Then she applied a bandage and gave me the aftercare instructions - pretty much the same as tattoo aftercare.

I'm really glad I'm having this done.

And i'm still craving something sweet - maybe I'll hit Jamba Juice before school and try to avoid this junk food craving.
  • Current Music
    Mars Volta - The Widow

Hell is not other people.

Hell is algebra class.
Hell is algebra class when you're only an hour in to a two-and-a-half hour class, you've already read your magazine three times and done the crossword, the guy behind you seems to be a drummer, and the buzzing from the florescent lights is slowly dissolving your brain.

and now i'm bored x 1010.
not that there's anything going on tonight, but if there is ... you'd call me, right?

my schedule for the next week is insane, i should just relax tonight. Five days of work, a meeting with the other bridesmaids, school, a test, and i'm supposed to go see a movie with Joe, then i picked up a thursday shift. Watch me fall over. On the good side, it means i have friday and saturday of next week off. I probably will end up doing very little. need to buy food ... ugh. hate grocery stores, won't do fast food, and nothing left to cook. no beer either.
  • Current Music
    Chemical Brothers - Galvanize