May 2nd, 2005

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I'm having one of those days where I feel like i can't connect. the isolation gets to me. I want friends, but i can't quite keep up my half of the deal, so i'm alone ... and i never wanted to be alone.

Funny, where i've ended up ... when i was younger, i surrounded myself with people. I decided it was too much, moved out here, and now i'm stuck and have no one. It would be nice to have people i could call to hang out, get coffee, watch movies and all that. It just doesn't seem like there's anyone out here like me, and my friends in OC and LB, it's just too far.

I want to come home. I want to be loved.

I was staring at the phone last night, trying ot think of someone to call, but i knew i really had nothing to say.

The one phone call I did make, I ran through over and over in my head, and it probably did me more harm than good. or not.

I hate feeling like this. I envy Heather ... she's outgoing, everyone loves her, she always has something to say ... I call her the anti-kasey because she's so many things that I'm not. Maybe i'm missing the social gene or something.
  • Current Mood
    lonely lonely