September 19th, 2005

short and red

grow up?

I've been wondering when I'll feel like an adult.
I've got my house, my car, my career, and I'm getting my education. I take care of animals and pay my bills. I still feel like a fifteen year old ... i still dress - and sometimes act - like one. One of the most interesting comments I've ever received was "You dress like a kid playing dress up!" This as I was leaving my apartment of a few years ago wearing thrift store army pants, red velvet elbow length gloves, and a bit of fake blue hair.
But is that a bad thing, that i am the girl I always wanted to be? Should more people allow themselves the freedom?
Do any of you feel like adults?

Tonight, I'm drunk on improbable ideas. A hint of an opportunity, completely out of the blue and dumb luck, and i'm making plans and fantasizing about this life I don't have quite yet. The fact that he suggested it shocks me in a very happy way. Even if it doesn't happen, the thought that it was an option for both of us is comforting.
I'll be less vague when I'm more sure.

drunk on ideas and happy in love ...
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