I'm lonely. I'm lonely and most of the people i like being around are inaccessible and distant. Or maybe it's me that is inaccessible and distant.
I wish i had friends that live closer to me.
Even when i know people, i rarely feel that i have any sort of emotional connection anyway ... i don't quite know how to explain it, but being around my friends doesn't curb my loneliness.
I last talked to Michael friday night. I get sad if i don't get a chance to talk to him at least once a day - maybe i'm clingy, but he's my stabilizer when my mind gets wobbly. he's all i have sometimes. I lean on him too much, but i don't really know what else i can do.
I think i'm giving up on the idea of therapy. My sessions have helped me better understand why i am the way i am, but have done little to help me better myself. I feel that I am at the mercy of my moods, and not able to manage them.
Work is just annoying. All night I had to listen to a couple of my co-workers talk about their breast augmentations and future surgical plans, and i wanted to slap their heavily made-up faces with a brick. That, coupled with Dani, the most annoying creature to ever walk the earth, and i'm hating humanity by the time i got out of there. more than usual even.
aren't i the sparkly ray of sunshine this morning?
i really should get to sleep so that i'm semi rested for my other job, for which i have to wake up in a few hours.