the really sad thing is that nothing is really bad. i'm just fucked in the head.
I recognized a name that I read in the paper this morning. A girl i went to high school with, my age and my grade, is playing softball in the olympics. I'm happy for her - my high school had a great softball team, and she was one of the nicer jock-chicks. But i also see how much other people have accomplished, and realize how much of my life i have wasted.
Sunday night was bad. I don't want to get into the details of why, but i'm really unstable right now.
I don't know why michael puts up with it.
I don't know why he stays, but i'm grateful.
I put him through so much.
Seriously, i'm not even taking the small stresses of daily life very well. Getting dinner yesterday before work was a complicated ordeal, compounded by the fact that the restaurant i was craving (Togo's) was closed with a "for lease" sign in the window. so now i must find a new togos.
If i wake up in time, i'll be at stitch n' bitch. That's a big "if".
In an hour, I'm going to see the doctor to go over the results of various bloodtests i had done last week. I'm very curious to see the results of some of them, as i've put off my diabetes bloodwork for quite a while. I've been a bad diabetic.
The schedule for next week shows me working five days (50 hours). I traded shifts with another girl earlier this month, but she quit last week. So i now have the shift I agreed to work for her, plus my usual shift. no fun, but ten hours overtime is good money. I think a day off would be better for me, though.
the plan for the next few days: work, sleep, work, sleep, meet w/ stephinextremis, maybe see michael if i'm lucky, sleep.
done bitching for now, i guess.