kasey (allthingsshiny) wrote,

  • Mood:

bad. worse. less bad.

things have gone from bad to worse, and now back to simply bad again.
the really sad thing is that nothing is really bad. i'm just fucked in the head.

I recognized a name that I read in the paper this morning. A girl i went to high school with, my age and my grade, is playing softball in the olympics. I'm happy for her - my high school had a great softball team, and she was one of the nicer jock-chicks. But i also see how much other people have accomplished, and realize how much of my life i have wasted.

Sunday night was bad. I don't want to get into the details of why, but i'm really unstable right now.
I don't know why michael puts up with it.
I don't know why he stays, but i'm grateful.
I put him through so much.

Seriously, i'm not even taking the small stresses of daily life very well. Getting dinner yesterday before work was a complicated ordeal, compounded by the fact that the restaurant i was craving (Togo's) was closed with a "for lease" sign in the window. so now i must find a new togos.

If i wake up in time, i'll be at stitch n' bitch. That's a big "if".

In an hour, I'm going to see the doctor to go over the results of various bloodtests i had done last week. I'm very curious to see the results of some of them, as i've put off my diabetes bloodwork for quite a while. I've been a bad diabetic.

The schedule for next week shows me working five days (50 hours). I traded shifts with another girl earlier this month, but she quit last week. So i now have the shift I agreed to work for her, plus my usual shift. no fun, but ten hours overtime is good money. I think a day off would be better for me, though.

the plan for the next few days: work, sleep, work, sleep, meet w/ stephinextremis, maybe see michael if i'm lucky, sleep.

done bitching for now, i guess.

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