In a moment of clarity sometime during the last week, i realized that i have been so wrapped up in and enveloped by my own depression that i haven't been able to see michael at all, haven't had a clue what is going on with him. And this isn't fair, to either of us.
so i made a decision i've been fighting for a long time. I'm on the meds. and i don't want to talk about it, but i feel compelled to announce it. and i am shamed and i am weak.
it's the only fair thing to do - i don't want to destroy this with my own faults.
"The only threat to you is you." - michael
and stephinextremis is a better therapist than any one i've ever paid for. She is especially gifted with the "retail therapy" modality of treatment.
Thanks to that, i have glitter eyeliner, the reddest lipstick ever, paint-on eyeshadow, and a lipgloss called "gash". yay for credit cards.
I am home today, and michael is here with me. It feels like home when he's in it. we're going for thai food tonight, beer after that. maybe some cleaning of the house before any of that. I'm wandering the house in lingerie. The birds are happy and tweeting, and the cats are being extra-loving today.
I think today will be a good day, provided that i don't get too drunk and start a stupid arguement ...
Eyeliner makes me feel better
Lipstick makes me feel good
Lifting my moods can be easy
If the retail works as it should