kasey (allthingsshiny) wrote,

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A strange calm has settled over me this afternoon ... i don't feel stressed, or anxious, or worried ... it's all okay. i drove home, stopped at trader joe's. strangers smiled at me and i smiled back. i smiled at strangers and they smiled back.

i don't know what the fuck is up, but i'm going to enjoy it while i have it.

I've adopted michael's tea ritual, to an extent. it's very calming. yesterday, when i was freaking out by myself, i stopped. i filled a kettle with water and put it on to boil. I waited for the whistle, and then carefully poured the steaming water into a teapot, adding three packets of sweet herbal tea. For a while, i absorbed the warmth and fragrance, and finally poured myself a cup.
And it calmed me down. not the tea itself, but the ritual of it. i find myself doing it more and more when i need to slow my mind down for a moment.
It's taken me two years to understand it.

the house has been getting progressively cleaner today - i've really let it go since the last time michael was up here. What's the point of cleaning if no one is going to see it? but i enjoy this place, and i can do things just for myself. it's okay.

the keg has been returned. it was a bitch to lug that thing downstairs in heels.

i feel so weird. maybe this is normal.

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