Paranoia isn't fun.
Maybe it's because i watched that scary movie the other day. Scary movies do stuff like that to me. I'm still having zombie nightmares after seeing Shaun of the Dead.
I would have loved to go to the Josie party last night, but i know where i'm not wanted, and i had to work anyway. I can't ever do anything on a saturday night.
so i'm here, and i'm feeling disconnected from the world - i'll go to work tonight and be Professional Kasey for ten hours, then go home and be silent and alone. Work contact never really counts as human contact to me - those people are paid to be there and have to be nice to me.
I need to learn to like the idea of being alone, because it doesn't look like i'm going to not be alone anytime in the foreseeable future. and i don't know that there's any use being optimistic anymore ... what's the point? i should be realistic and accept the situation.