kasey (allthingsshiny) wrote,

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kinda i want to maybe just for tonight

I think i have arranged the livingroom into a configuration that i can live with. now i just have to clean it. I live by myself - i don't know how i make such a mess. i love neatness and order and can't clean up after myself.

I hate petco even more today. i understand the nature of retail, it's busy around the holidays, but don't deny me my boyfriend for a vacation. So he can't get the time off, and i've had to re-plan the whole thing. If he can't get the dates off that I've found, then there is no vacation, because we have no other compatible dates. And i need this vacation. I found a cute little hotel a mile from the beach, with a fireplace in the room and a hot tub outside. I thought about spending new year's eve up there, but i promised mary that i'd go to her party.

I want this whole christmas thing to be over. it's stressing me out already. this is the season where i wake up and it's already dark. shopping becomes a hellish endeavour. and everyone has this family thing going on that makes me feel even more lonely and disconnected.

Clients at work always have this sympathy thing going when they see that have to work the holidays. "Oh, you poor thing, having to work on Christmas!" Well, if i didn't work on christmas (and thanksgiving, and all the other family days) i don't know how i'd get through them. It keeps my mind off of the outside world.

I hate that i never get to see him anymore ...

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