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So Matty is building me a new computer. I've been using the one at my mom's, but i really hate being stuck at home without any interweb access. i feel so isolated. plus my semi-functional cell phone, and the fact that i don't have anyone to call anyway. and if i did, i never have anything to say.

I just need to get him my hard drive, and it will be all done.

Confining Sha'Niqua is proving more difficult than expected. the normal measures that i use to confine flea just don't work for a full-sized dog. i put a table in front of her little kennel space, she pushes it over and walks out. she's not a bad dog, just smart enough to know that she would rather not stay in a small space when she is perfectly capable of getting out.

i think i might just get one of those vari-kennel crates on my way home tomorrow. My "baby-gate the hallway" plan no longer seems feasible. I was in the (upstairs) shower this morning, thinking that Sha'Niqua was safely secured downstairs. Halfway through the shower, i see a shadow outside the glass door. Sha'Niqua had limped her way up the stairs. This is not what the doctors meant by "crate confinement".

I'm at a low point right now ... not hopeful, not stable, not feeling that i have much reason to exist. i can't wear makeup most days because it will all be smudged down my face is short order. don't ask why, i can't explain what i don't understand. i don't want to go out, don't want to see anyone, don't want to think. it took me two hours today to push myself out the door to go get lunch. and another hour to eat half of it. i don't think anyone wants to see me anyway, i'm especially unfun right about now.

everything just looks so bleak.


( 2 made me bleed — cut me )
Jan. 2nd, 2005 06:54 am (UTC)
Okay once again worried about you. I read entries like this and think "Damn I am never going to get to meet this funny wonderful person". And you live so close to Sturmcrow and I...

And I never see you online on my AIm or I would start talking to you in there...

Please take care of yourself~~ I am hoping that sometime soon we all get to meet at least once.

and poor doggie. I am sure it wouldnt be safe to midly sedate her so she can get some rest and heal... damn.

Jan. 2nd, 2005 03:53 pm (UTC)
i'll be okay ... i'm always okay.

( 2 made me bleed — cut me )

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