and i don't have the will or the energy to care about anything.
i'm unwell and not really sure if it's a physical illness or a psychosomatic one. my muscles hurt, especially my middle. i think my kidneys hurt, but it could just be muscle. i did an ultrasound on my kidneys, but not knowing what human kidneys are supposed to look like, i really only could say, "yup, those are kidneys," and continue on with my night. my head is all foggy and i'm not sleepy, but i have no energy and move very slowly.
a co-worked made jokes that i'm not feeling well because i haven't dyed my hair lately. it wasn't a funny joke at all, but there's a bit of truth in the reverse of that ... i haven't felt well enough lately to even bother taking care of myself. i hardly wash my hair anymore, let alone dye it. i don't bother wearing anything cute ... i don't bother with makeup ... i'm functioning at a bare-minimum kinda level right now.
and i hate it.