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I don't want to go out. I don't want to be alone. I certainly don't want to sit here and be paranoid.

*conflict*

I went to the shelter to try and get the pug out but she had already been adopted. so now i've had three hours of sleep, i've canceled on all the plans i had with any friends of mine, i'm tired, i'm hungry, i'm sad, ... bitch/whine ad nauseum.

Michael is supposed to call me after work ... maybe that will help. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow night ... we're doing the usual dinner/movie thing, and then he's staying over and we're going hiking on friday. I still haven't heard back from wubby, but i'm going for sure. rain or no rain.

So i like the question thing - interesting stuff to know. however, in the poll format it doesn't really inspire discussion ... so i don't know. the point is to inspire some discussion, because things have been so quiet lately. maybe just in comments next time. or not.

I'm always in a state of wanting something just out of reach ...

and nico, i think i empathize with your answer the most.

Comments

( 5 made me bleed — cut me )
miss_geek
Jan. 27th, 2005 03:29 am (UTC)
i was actually going to elaborate in comments, but everyone else's answer made sense, in a very normal, expected, acceptable way... maybe i'll go back and comment there to explain...
allthingsshiny
Jan. 27th, 2005 03:32 am (UTC)
yours makes sense too ... to me, anyway. i rarely see anyone that treats me well for any length of time.
miss_geek
Jan. 27th, 2005 03:37 am (UTC)
ah hell, i'll just comment here, anyone that read the poll will likely read this too...

so i actually thought about the question for awhile... what is the one thing that someone could do to make me dump them immediately...

and i thought, okay, they could hit me, but in all honesty, if i was in a relationship and thought i was happy, i can't be certain that i would be able to just leave them for that. i'm still pretty fucked up in that regard...

then i thought okay they could cheat on me, i'd leave them for sure... but then again, would i? i'd probably be more prone to making a huge issue over it and staying with them, trying desperately to make it work.

then i thought drugs. if i was dating someone and i found out they were doing drugs i would run.... but then again, i wouldn't... i would try to help them and eventually they would leave me...

so the only thing i could come up with, the reason i end most of the relationships i begin, would be if they were nice to me. for whatever reason, likely self esteem and acceptance issues, i can't stay in a relationship with a guy who isn't a cheating, lying, abusive drug addict. it's sad, but it's true.
allthingsshiny
Jan. 27th, 2005 03:56 am (UTC)
i can't stay in a relationship with a guy who isn't a cheating, lying, abusive drug addict

it is sick, but those are the boys i like best. i think a bit of it is that i'm so sure there's a nice guy in there and i just have to be good enough to help find it ...
miss_geek
Jan. 27th, 2005 04:01 am (UTC)
well that... and they provide passion and drama and action and suspense and they are, generally speaking anyway, really great in bed. not to mention that when they take the time to be nice, it is far more impressive than a boring nice boy who is just nice all the time...
( 5 made me bleed — cut me )

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