kasey (allthingsshiny) wrote,
kasey
allthingsshiny

  • Mood:
I left work early tonight. My heart wasn't in it anyway.
I left with plans for lofty things like "homework" and "cleaning", but instead opened a bottle of wine. i need to relax, anyway.
The incident of last night was officially decided to be a "no fault" thing ... but i just can't believe that, and neither does the other tech involved. I talked to him about it tonight, and we're both still really upset about it. we're also not in any position to do a fucking thing about it, except to be even more vigilant.

So I'm in Steph's wedding, in april. What does this involve? well, as far as i can tell, it means i buy a dress and a present and show up.

I'm also a bridesmaid for Lacie, in november. I received an email from the maid of honor today, detailing my duties as a bridesmaid. This is a summary:

Helping the maid-of-honor plan and throw the bridal shower.
Attending all wedding-related events such as engagement parties, showers, luncheons, bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners, next-day brunch, and, oh yeah...the wedding.
Buying engagement, shower, and wedding gifts.
Buying a bridesmaid dress and matching shoes (at your own expense).
Arranging travel plans to and from all events, including car rental, hotel reservations, and taxis (at your own expense).
Attending the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.
Arriving at the wedding site early.
Attending and participating in the wedding.
Doing items 1 - 9 without any complaining and with a big ol' smile on your face at all times!
Pre-wedding:
o If you have great penmanship it is always nice to volunteer to address at least some the invitations if the bride agrees. Many times a bride may outsource her invitations but if they need to be addressed by the family, your help will be key in reducing the load of tasks to complete.
o Your friend may need help in ordering and choosing decorations and favors, your opinions may be helpful in making decisions for narrowing down choices and making sure the decorations are in on time for the wedding, shower and bachelorette parties.
o It is a major treat to go with the bride when she is shopping for her wedding dress. She may even invite you to be involved in picking out the Bridesmaid dresses. It is very important to help make sure the dresses are ordered and arrive in enough time for alterations!
o Make sure to pick up your bridesmaid dress in a "reasonable" amount of time in case of additional fittings.
o Many times the groom does not want to go to register with his bride-to-be. You can be very supportive by going with your friend to register for her wedding gifts as well as letting other guests know where the bride and groom are registered. This is a very fun experience so take part in the choosing if she needs help.
o Help the bride in the seating arrangement. This can be a very difficult process with the more people coming to the wedding. Many times it makes it easier to draw out the tables and move people around until you have a close to perfect fit. Note: It is very helpful to bring this drawing to the wedding just in case there are any mix-ups, you will save the day!
o Help Plan the Bridal Shower with the Maid of Honor as well as the Bachelorette Party!
o Be a good communicator with information. Many times information prior to a wedding does not reach everyone. Friends will appreciate confirming plans of each shower and party as well as wedding day information
o Attend and help out during the rehearsal dinner. Many times the bride, groom and their families are pre-occupied and forget about things, which is where you can save the day by being supportive.

Wedding Day
o Assist the bride in getting into her dress and makeup
o Ask if the bride needs anything (food, water, etc) all the way up till the time she is walking down the aisle. She will really appreciate it!
o Assist the other bridesmaids on where to go and timing, especially if they show up late
o Help make sure the bride has privacy if she needs some quiet time before the ceremony
o Be ready to take pictures before and after the wedding
o Take some deep breaths and walk slowly when you walk down the aisle since it is common to speed up. If a groomsman walks down the aisle with you, make him refrain from talking or fooling around
o Always look for the unexpected since it is common for the most uncommon things to happen (i.e, something falling down at the alter). If you are close enough, fix what needs to be fixing so the bride, groom and their families can focus on the ceremony.
Costs:

Being a bridesmaid is more than just a time commitment; it's a financial one as well. One magazine reported that the average bridesmaid spends close to $900 per wedding, but your actual costs will vary a great deal.
Typically you'll have to pay for:
Gifts: engagement, shower, wedding.
All of your travel expenses.
Shower & Bachelorette party
The bridesmaid dress and any alterations.
Shoes and having them dyed to match the dress.
Stockings, underwear, bras, etc. . . .
Having your hair and nails done.

How can I be the best bridesmaid I can be?
No complaining . . . to the bride
She doesn't want to hear that the dress makes you look fat, your plane ticket was soooo expensive or that you're dreading making a toast.
Be timely
Provide whatever information the bride requests immediately. If she needs your measurements, your middle initial or your meal preference, respond ASAP to help her keep on schedule.
Don't wait to the last minute to make travel plans. You don't want to end up stressing the bride, or yourself, out if flights/hotels are full or really expensive.
Arrive at events on time. It makes a bad impression to be late when you're part of the wedding party.
Pay up
If the bride asks you to reimburse her for the dress, do so promptly. It's awkward enough to ask your friends for money, even more awkward if she has to send someone out to break your kneecaps. While it may hurt to write a big check for a dress you hate, it just has to be done.
Pay attention
Talk to the bride throughout the engagement and wedding planning process. Feign interest if you have to, but let her know you care. See our Big Day Reminders for more ways to shine on the big day.
Keep it to yourself
If you're single, having a case of "ring fever" and an uncooperative significant other or just had a bad break-up, it can seem like torture to participate in yet another wedding that isn't your own. While it's totally normal to feel this way, you have to put your feelings aside, act happy for the bride and maintain a positive attitude (at least on the outside). It's hard at times, but we have no doubt that one day you'll have a starring role in your own wedding someday. And then all your bridesmaids will hate you too. Just kidding.

I'm scared. and obligated. I promised her 15 years ago that i would be in her wedding. she'd do the same for me. But jeebus christ. they're all going to hate me by the time this is done. I'm just hoping the bridesmaid dress covers the "fuck you" tattoo.

i'm thinking about dying my hair all purple. This purple and black thing looks nice, but i think it's time for a change. and the three sections/two colors think takes me all afternoon when i do it. I think work will let me get away with it ... dark purple has to be more sedate than the hot pink of last year.

The video clip on this web page both scares the hell out of me and makes me laugh out loud. god enema? that must feel funny. Apparently, Benny Hinn's wife is even crazier than he is.

it's supposed to be almost ninety degrees out here this week. i guess winter was nice while it lasted ...
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