I'm getting through every day a few minutes at a time. I go to work and do my job and smile when i'm supposed to. i even laughed a bit last night. mostly at people, but that's my usual entertainment anyway.
Went through the trauma yesterday for taking my own measurements, and then speaking them out loud ... i'm not looking forward to being the fat bridesmaid. but it is what it is, and maybe i'll make some time for exercise and salad before the wedding and take off some of the excess jiggle. The major goal is to get back to a good weight by november - lacie's wedding.
Lacie's wedding has made me think about doing something i should have done a while ago. I want the horrible tattoo off my shoulder. I was spun and stupid when I got it, and I hated it the morning after. Since i was seventeen, i haven't been able to wear a tank top or anything strapless because I don't want to show it. I was going to get it covered up, but it won't cover up well, there's nothing i particularly want in its place, and i think i can afford to have it removed. I think I'll feel better about myself if it's gone.
I just want things to go back to normal, and i want to not be scared.