i go to work every night, and i am a focused, productive person. I don't have issues, i don't have personal problems, i have a job to do and i do it well and (generally) without emotion.
But when i leave, I'm fighting back tears before i even reach the freeway. If there's nothing to distract me, nothing else to focus on, it all goes back to the same subject.
i've never felt so completely empty before ... like anything i do doesn't matter, because i'm doing it alone, and what do i care if i can't share it with anyone? i hate that i'm acting like a co-dependent girl, that's not how i am, or maybe not how i was. it's not "anyone", though ... it's him. and no one before had an effect on me like he did.
