I didn't cry, i made it through the (long!) ceremony without crying. I made it through most of the reception without crying. And when i felt like i couldn't stay under control anymore, i left. No scenes for Kasey.
The backyard faced the wetlands, and i spent a few minutes at the fence, watching the birds and the water. Water was on my mind all day today ... it's a calming thing for me.
I drank bucketloads of scotch and never really felt a buzz. Never had a panic attack either, so I guess it was doing its job.
I'm happy for them. I'm envious, too. I want that someday ... I know i could live fine without the wedding, without the spectacle of it all ... but i want that kind of love.
I thought i had it, and maybe i did for a while. It felt good.
I want to hang onto that.
I saw people i love, and people i missed, and people i am happy to call my friends.
The lawn is full of holes from all of us walking around in our heels and sinking into the ground.
The food looked great, but i was too nervous (and my stomach too scotch-saturated) to eat.
I took some pictures of before and after. If I have stephinextremis' permission, i will post some up later.
There is some Heather-related event tonight, that i may attend. I may go back to the comic shop. I may just go home.