- Bill Hicks
Sometimes, i have to keep reminding myself that I am in control here.
Sometimes, being in control just means that I, and I alone, am responsible for my unhappiness, my frustration, whatever shitty situation that i happen to be stuck in. But it's mine, and I alone can change it.
That being said, i'm doing my best to get drunk. Because that's what I want to do right now. Because, at this moment, that is what I feel is best for Me. Buying beer at 9am always gets me funny looks at the grocery store. Steph, if i look a little less than perky at work tonight, you'll know why.
I doubt beer is good for my diet.
If we capitalize "I", why don't we capitalize "Me"? I think i just might from now on.
My plans have changed, a little bit. Instead of meeting Danny up here Thursday and going to Perversions, I found out that I have to be in OC on Thursday night, because I (weeks ago) agreed to dog-sit my mom's dog this weekend. So Thursday morning, i will come home from work and go to bed. I will wake up, go to class, and then get dressed (quickly) and put on make up (quickly) and drive to OC (quickly), in order to arrive at Perv at a reasonable hour.
and to think, i never used to go out on school nights because it was such a hassle.
I laughed last night, at a co-worker who freaked out when another female co-worker took a bag of trash outside *gasp* without a male escort. The dumpster is maybe twenty feet from the building, in the middle of a lit parking lot. My co-worker (we'll call her "A", because I am too annoyed to type out her name), Realized that Renee had gone to take out the trash, and started on a rant about how dangerous it was to go outside as a female, and how we should never go out alone ... and blah blah blah, on and on. One bit of it was "what if there are a bunch of guys out there with knives or guns?" Don't worry, honey, i'm sure they're not after you.
I don't work graves because i'm afraid of night. I'll be damned if i'm afraid to be alive just because i'm female. I was so pissed off at A, but i didn't say a whole lot ... i've been trying to not start drama at work.
I was trying so hard to not be cranky at work last night, but failing miserably. I even handed off the keys to someone so i could step outside for a few minutes ... it only helped for a little while. I just had no patience.
i think i'm drunk now. i'll stumble up to bed.
