kasey (allthingsshiny) wrote,
kasey
allthingsshiny

  • Mood:

expectations?

I screwed up my schedule, but it was my own fault and well worth it. Shouldn't mess me up too bad, i just have to get a nap in before school at 6pm.

After my class last night (looks like it's going to be easy enough, but four hours of sitting still under fluorescent lights), I picked up michael and we went over to heather's house. No cleaning was required - apparently Kylie beat me to it! - but we hung out and kept her company for a few hours. It's the least I can do ... she's always been there for me when things are bad, and i really want to be able to do the same for her. So we talked, and drank a beer, and smoked too many cigarettes.

Heather dropped the "b" word when she was talking to a friend of hers on the phone ... as in "I'm here with Kasey and her ...".
This inspired a conversation with michael when we were leaving her house. I don't feel a need to define things other than that i love him, he loves me, and we're both happy with the way things are. I'm not so insecure anymore that I have to label everything and put our relationship into a box, with the unstated expectations that come with classifications. I don't have expectations right now. I have my own life, and I'm happy when we can spend some time together.
I also don't want to waste my energy by correcting anyone's assumptions, or trying to explain our "status" to anyone. So think what you will, and allow me my happiness.

All that being said, I did tell him that if i found out he was seeing anyone else without letting me know, i'd castrate him.

I'm amazed at how many people I've found who just can't be happy that I'm happy ... I know a lot of people would have acted differently in a similar situation, but this is my situation. I haven't done anything lately without careful consideration. So if my actions have offended you so much that you can't just let me be happy with the one i choose to be happy with, do me a favor and fuck off. I don't need your negativity. Take me off your list, out of your cell phones, off your email address books. Say goodbye. I've found, recently, who my friends are.
If anyone has the cojones to say anything to my face, I may still have some respect for you.

and to those who will share in my joy, and are there for me when i'm down, and don't taint their actions with ulterior motives ... you know i'll do the same for you.

anyway ...

Went back to Michael's after heather's house. I meant to stay a short while and drive home, so that i could sleep in today and be awake for school and work tonight. I didn't have the will to drag myself out of a warm bed and comforting arms at three am, so i stayed. it was nice. it always is.
waking up at seven am, not so nice. driving through morning rush hour to get home while wearing yesterday's clothes and the remainder of yesterdays makeup, not so nice. But well worth it.

I left the TV on while I was gone. Poor bird got 36 hours of the discovery channel. Maybe he's smarter now.

Dinner with stephinextremis on thursday, at one of my favorite restaurants. I'm really looking forward to it. After dinner< i'm going to finish watching the first season of "Oz" with Michael. I need to finish it, because I just got the second season in the mail. Yay ebay.
Tags: love
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