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I woke up an hour ago, and i'm still in a haze ...

i want my life to be something besides work and school and sleep, but on weeks like this it feels like that's all i have time to do. I have tonight off, yes, but i have a paper to write, and i need to go home and take care of my poor neglected kitties.

There's no money, and i have an overdue phone bill. maybe i'll go out to dinner and pretend that neither of these issues are problematic. no one calls anyway. I've got a 90 hour paycheck coming on thursday, it'll be fine, i'm sure.

Last night was long and frustrating. The emergency clinic in garden grove turfed to us a patient with a urinary obstruction. Once they found out the clients had no money, they told them it needed surgery and we could do it for about $1500. wrong. Between our costs and the surgeon's costs, it's about $3500. Not that they had a penny between them anyway. But they finally get a friend to come down and apply for credit, and we get authorization for treatment and all is well - until we get the bloods and x-rays. The poor cat has stones all through his ureters and kidneys, a much more serious problem requiring a more complex surgery. All of this only took three hours or so of my night.

Add that to the hospital being a mess, all the techs whining at me, all the swing shift people leaving on time whether their treatments were done or not, and my exhaustion ... great night, really.

Ever have one of those days where everyone you work with looks at you and asks if you are okay? then you start wondering do i really look that tired?

Dreams ... odd and vivid. Heather dead and me dividing up her stuff with her other friends ... i called her after i woke up just to make sure she was alive.

Maybe i'll see michael today. it'll be a nice break. My parents saw him the other day, for the first time since we got back together. My mom acted all surprised, but has remained mercifully quiet on the subject. I do not want to discuss this with her.


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May 2013


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