kasey (allthingsshiny) wrote,
kasey
allthingsshiny

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i want to tear my brain out of my head and stomp on it.

I wonder why I cannot relax ... be happy ... i have anything i could ever ask for ... but things being good just means things will be bad again ... and i wait in anticipation for catastrophe. bring it ... i'm ready ...

Suspicion ... of feelings, of motives, of people in general ... i know i am gullible. Knowing doesn't make it any better. I was told fairly recently that I am lied to more than I realize, and that's been bothering me for a while ... optimism and faith in people will only bring me disappointment.

time to be alone and think is a cruel trick played on me.

i made a poor little kitty feel better last night ... i gave it some medicine and held it until it stopped shaking and fell asleep in my arms, and that is so simply exactly why i do what i do.
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