kasey (allthingsshiny) wrote,

  • Location:
  • Mood:
  • Music:

parties and death

I've got the day off today, as my friends Kate and Zak are having a party to celebrate their wedding. The actual wedding happened in PA, sparing all their west coast friends another ceremony (thank goodness, i've had my fill of weddings). I don't have a present, but I made another batch of oatmeal raisin cookies for the party.

If the skies stay dry, I'm riding the bike down there. I've never ridden so far, I'm a little nervous.

My shift in the e-room this week nearly did me in. Euthanasia of unadoptable/sick animals is part of my job. I took the job knowing this, I don't try to find moral arguments against it - we all know them, yet we cannot change things. It's the dirty, ugly side of veterinary medicine and shelter medicine especially. But for some reason, this one mama cat (sneezing) and her poor kittens (also sneezing) just hit me so hard in there. I cried, and I'm not one to cry at work. My co-worker hugged me - she said she cries every day she works in there. I didn't know the cat or her kittens, they weren't any more special than any of the other dozens of cats, kittens, puppies and dogs that I had to euth that day, but something just seemed so wrong about it.

But what can i do? It's part of my job, and if I'm not euthanizing, someone else will be in there doing it. The only comfort I can take is that if I'm in there, even if they have to die, I will do what I can to make it as painless and humane a procedure as possible. They will die with someone who cares about them.

I couldn't handle that room as an everyday thing. We rotate, and I usually only end up with an e-room shift once or twice every few weeks. There are people who have spent months working in there, and it does bad things to them. When there is a shift scheduled for me, I have nightmares the night before and the night of the shift. It sickens me.

Charles is upstairs tattooing right now. Strangers in my house makes both me and my cats neurotic.

The sky is cloudy and the air cool. Fall, is that you outside?
Tags: domesticity, friends, fun, motorcycle, work

  • Love.

    Sometimes you have to go 2000 miles to get to the one. So worth it. Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

  • (no subject)

    It's already getting wild out here, and I've completely re-evaluated my definition of "behaving myself". All the fun. Posted via LiveJournal…

  • everything came together perfectly

    I'm in Nashville. In my beautiful house, with all my wonderful animals, and i'm in love with the man sleeping with his head on my lap right now.…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.