If the skies stay dry, I'm riding the bike down there. I've never ridden so far, I'm a little nervous.
My shift in the e-room this week nearly did me in. Euthanasia of unadoptable/sick animals is part of my job. I took the job knowing this, I don't try to find moral arguments against it - we all know them, yet we cannot change things. It's the dirty, ugly side of veterinary medicine and shelter medicine especially. But for some reason, this one mama cat (sneezing) and her poor kittens (also sneezing) just hit me so hard in there. I cried, and I'm not one to cry at work. My co-worker hugged me - she said she cries every day she works in there. I didn't know the cat or her kittens, they weren't any more special than any of the other dozens of cats, kittens, puppies and dogs that I had to euth that day, but something just seemed so wrong about it.
But what can i do? It's part of my job, and if I'm not euthanizing, someone else will be in there doing it. The only comfort I can take is that if I'm in there, even if they have to die, I will do what I can to make it as painless and humane a procedure as possible. They will die with someone who cares about them.
I couldn't handle that room as an everyday thing. We rotate, and I usually only end up with an e-room shift once or twice every few weeks. There are people who have spent months working in there, and it does bad things to them. When there is a shift scheduled for me, I have nightmares the night before and the night of the shift. It sickens me.
Charles is upstairs tattooing right now. Strangers in my house makes both me and my cats neurotic.
The sky is cloudy and the air cool. Fall, is that you outside?