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It's been quite a week.

Monday I put on my helmet and rode down to OC. First stop, my parent's business, to drop off the xmas present for my cousin that has been sitting on my table for four months - and of course, to scare my mom a little bit. "You rode that thing all the way here??? On the freeway???!!!"

From there to Eleni's - stepped from the bike to poolside cold beers and comfy spots in the sun. Johnny showed up, and we had a great afternoon. The baby woke up eventually, so I got to watch little Gelli (Evangelina doesn't lend itself to a whole lot of nicknames!) run around the patio. She's adorable. Johnny is an old friend from the bad old days who has really turned his life around, and it was nice to talk to him for a while. Eleni, I worry about ... I love her to death and i don't like what has happened to her life. But what can I do?

Then down to Costa Mesa to meet the lovely blogdrassil, finally! She is a living doll and a splendid hostess. Hopefully we'll get the chance to get together again soon.

The way home was a bit scary ... my front brakes were already metal-on-metal, so I'd been using the rear brake heavily. I pressed down w/ my foot and felt no pressure, no response at all from the bike. No rears at all and maybe 25% front. But wtf, who needs brakes on the freeway anyway? I got home, haha.

Friday night drinking with co-workers, and Charles ... we closed the bar down, then some asshold stole his helmet, and this night turned into four am after everything was handled and he got his lid back ... what kind of idiot steals a helmet w/ a HA sticker on it? Especially when everyone knows who did it, and oh, he lives right around the corner.

Saturday I went down to my mom's to visit w/ my Great-Aunt Nancy and Great-Uncle Doyle, who are freaking awesome. They were crashing for the weekend at my parent's house. I want to be them when I am old - going wherever i want and crashing at relatives' houses when I get tired. They are opinionated ... it's hilarious to see my seventy-something great-aunt throw out "hussy" in casual conversation.

My dad is not doing well ... i may be a bad child for feeling this way, but I'm almost hesitant to go visit my parents because it is so hard to deal with what is happening to my dad. He's not him, he's not there. My mom cries every time I see her, and I wonder how long she'll be able to take care of him at home, or how long they'll take him to the shop to pretend to work.

Two years ago, my dad ran a race team, three years ago he was driving his funny car. His old friends talk like he was the greatest mechanical engineer that ever lived. Now he doesn't remember that I don't live there, and gets combative over the truck that my mom won't let him drive anymore (after he got in two accidents in two days). The doctors, they just don't know. My mom says he's gone downhill so fast in the last month.

This breaks my heart to watch, to be a part of.

Randi, if you still read, please don't mention anything to any of our crowd ... My mom doesn't want his old friends to know how bad it is.

I said my goodbyes from there and went to Heather's, where Johnny, MySam, Lindsey, and of course heather and adam and aasta were there. Drinking, movies, fun, and then Johnny and I went to another party. A house party in Anaheim that was just like the house parties in Garden Grove I went to twelve years ago, including the same people. Surreal. I got home early because I missed my boy, and he stayed out all night. Grr. but I got over it.

So there was my week, in case anyone wondered ... spent today working on the bikes, got my brakes all fixed up, and i think i'm going to go buy myself a drink.

Comments

( 12 made me bleed — cut me )
randicity
Mar. 30th, 2009 07:14 am (UTC)
I won't say anything if that is what you guys really want...

But to be honest when he came to our house a couple of months ago (?) we all noticed that it wasn't the same Mert as before. I am sure my parents would like to know what is going on though...

Just for your info...share with your mom if you would like, but my mom is going through Chemo right now...Bald head and everything. We understand how hard things get...
allthingsshiny
Mar. 31st, 2009 07:18 am (UTC)
It's just the way my mom wants it ... and to tell the truth, we don't even quite know what is going on, there isn't a clear diagnosis. Where he was a few months ago is ten times better than how he is now, and I think she doesn't want anyone to see him this bad.
They did go to Sean Bellemur's mom's funeral a few days ago, and even though he was having a "good day" I guess it was still pretty ugly. He can't really make conversation.
My mom is depressed and frustrated, my brother is withdrawn.

I don't think it's a problem if you say anything to your parents, we just really don't want it to end up a topic of discussion on insidetopalcohol.com or something. You know how gossipy things get.

Sorry to hear your mom is fighting cancer. Hope things go well and chemo isn't too hard ... this stuff is hard on the whole family.
randicity
Mar. 31st, 2009 04:50 pm (UTC)
I am really sorry to hear all this about your dad...he has always been such a nice guy...in fact your whole family is great...It must be really hard on your mom to see him go downhill so quickly, with no real diagnosis.

My thoughts are with you guys....
randicity
Mar. 31st, 2009 06:31 pm (UTC)
Is it that he is having trouble remember specifics, or does he have trouble remembering who everyone is? Is it more of like an overall "slowing down" or more like alzheimers?
allthingsshiny
Apr. 2nd, 2009 08:51 am (UTC)
He knows who we are, thank goodness. It's weird ... it's almost like he's just not in the moment, not living in the real world. We can ask him a question or just say hi, and whatever he responds with will take more than a few minutes, and may or may not be connected to anything that is actually going on. My mom says he's having trouble now with passage of time, not knowing what has happened when, and is also suffering some visual side effects from the Parkinson's medication.

The last few races we went to together, I was guiding him around a little bit ... he would start conversations with people and then not quite be able to finish them, so brad and I would kind of help him socially, you know? That was last year, things have gotten worse since then.

Sorry if I ramble ... I don't quite know how to explain it. Mostly it is that my dad just doesn't seem to be in there anymore. They won't make the diagnosis of Alzheimers (which it is seeming more and more like what is going on) but the docs won't really give us any other ideas.
allthingsshiny
Apr. 2nd, 2009 08:53 am (UTC)
Thank you, also, for keeping us in your thoughts. One of the most comforting things is knowing how well-liked my dad has been.
ineedcoffee
Mar. 30th, 2009 01:05 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry about your dad. I can't say I've exactly been there, but my dad went through a long process of illnesses which eventually led to him being very confused and disoriented and you are right, its awful to watch and you wonder how beneficial your presence is anyway. So I guess in that case, your visits are for your mom, to show support, and for you, to say goodbye in a way, if you don't think he's really getting anything out of it anymore. It still sucks. I remember my dad's boss/friend calling me asking me to ask him to retire since he really couldn't do his job anymore, and I had to tell him right now it was the only thing bringing him any focus and joy and I *had* asked him, he wouldn't do it. It was really difficult for him and everyone around him too. you aren't alone. :(
allthingsshiny
Mar. 31st, 2009 07:21 am (UTC)
Thank you for your kind words ...
it is appreciated.

I think my visits at this point are for my mom's benefit. She's bearing most of the burden.
alexvdl
Mar. 30th, 2009 02:26 pm (UTC)
Evangelina => Angie, Eva, Lina, Angel, Ange, Eve, Evy, Bob
allthingsshiny
Mar. 31st, 2009 07:21 am (UTC)
Gelli works.
alexvdl
Mar. 31st, 2009 12:50 pm (UTC)
I agree. Gelli works, and is probably unique.

Edited at 2009-03-31 12:52 pm (UTC)
alexvdl
Mar. 31st, 2009 12:56 pm (UTC)
And i'm sorry to hear about your Dad. I guess I went for the easy comment earlier because I don't like thinking about the fact that things like that happen. When my Dad came up to visit me it was blindingly obvious that my Dad isn't the spring chiken he once was. I really don't like thinking about my Dad being old, being mortal...
( 12 made me bleed — cut me )

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