Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry


I am most entertained by watching other human beings ... their actions, reactions, interactions ... I'm inordinately fascinated by anthropology and sociology, and history for perspective ...

I do prefer to watch from a distance ... the trauma of actually having to deal with some of these people is very much not worth it.

It's funny ... I do love the people I consider friends. I need people ... i need interaction ... but I can only take so much of it before i retreat. I'm all sorts of happy when I go out and see anyone, or people come to see me, but I can only do it every so often ... it becomes overwhelming and I get to the point where I don't like anyone, and i have to hide ...

nice to find one that understands that, and can appreciate it ... he knows he's the only one i can tolerate being around most of the time.

Don't misread this ... like I said, i love my friends ... I couldn't handle things without them, and you know who you are ...
The rest of the people on this planet are really worthless to me, and you know who you are, as well ... some are more worthless than others.

I may be self-centered, but i really think it's the only way to go ... I think it was better stated by another that none of us matter except to ourselves ... I'm the only one that matters to me, and i don't matter, in the long run, to anyone but myself ... so I am in control of and responsible for my own happiness, and I cannot, should not, place that responsibility at the feet of others ...

My excuse for being a hedonist, anyway ...

not to say at all that it's any excuse for mistreating others, either ... If I could be something positive in someone else's existence, great ... but my only real obligation is to be neutral ...

I doubt this makes any sense to anyone but me, but it's a ramble I needed to type out ...

"disappointment's the only rule ... nobody cares the way you want them to ..." - Babyland, The Issuing Line

and in other useless information, boys are messy ... but so am i. I get the house closer to being neat every week, and then I have my apathetic and self indulgent sunday with michael every week ... smoke, drink, eat, watch movies, play, talk, and taunt the animals ... and the house is always a disaster my monday morning ... I'm really not looking forward to digging tea bags out of the garbage disposal and scraping dried ramen off the counter ...

We got most of my shelf built yesterday, only to find that it did not come with the necessary screws to attach it to the wall. Grr. So I have an assembled shelf, complete with sliding clear blue doors, sitting on my couch awaiting my journey to home depot. I've also decided on my next home project ... I'm going to paint the bannister to my stairs blue, to match the carpet ... I think it will brighten up this room ... or make a huge mess ... either way, all sorts of fun ...

Oh, and my new toy arrived via UPS today ... now I can subject you all to more pictures of my cats, and I'm not limited to what I can get positioned in front of the webcam ... muahaha.
God, I'm obnoxious when I have a camera.

oh, and the funniest thing about livejournal ... it's got this "friends" feature ... wherin you only see the people you want to see ... nobody "has" to read anyones writings ... and it's also funny ... just because someone reads yours, you are under no obligation to read theirs ...

i guess it takes some longer to catch on to the obvious, but i thought i would try and help make it clear ...


( 21 made me bleed — cut me )
Sep. 29th, 2003 04:20 pm (UTC)
I think "clear" is subjective. What is clear and obvious to most people could be like frosted shower glass to others...or hell, they might not even see it at all. Some people never see, no matter how hard you try to explain, and that's when you step back and leave it alone.

And you do make sense.
Sep. 29th, 2003 04:35 pm (UTC)
thanks ... sometimes i think that i can never make my thoughts clear ... i'm not the best with communication ...

and i know i should waste my time trying to educate some people, but ignorance irritates me ...
Sep. 29th, 2003 04:36 pm (UTC)
I've been told that I'm good at making things clear...and I am, sometimes. But, if I'm trying to explain something that I only understand visually, it takes me a lot longer to come up with an explanation that everyone else gets. I don't think like other people at all...

Ignorance irritates me too, but there does come a time where you need to cut your losses...
Sep. 29th, 2003 04:49 pm (UTC)
I'm just not so good with the words ... I'll get a "concept" (for lack of a better term) in my brain, and talk myself in circles trying to explain it ...

It's frustrating. often, usually when i'm sitting silently through a conversation, I'll feel like i have so much to contribute, if only i could from the words ...
Sep. 29th, 2003 04:52 pm (UTC)
I'm good with words when I have time to think them over...ie, writing. Otherwise, not so good. I think we have the same conversation problem, actually.

It's like the other night when we were playing Season's game, Set. I understood the rules almost immediately, without reading them, because I'm just that visual. Watching Season and Brett was enough. But Norm and Larry didn't get it, and none of us could explain it very well. I had to sit down and read the rules about five times to be able to form an explanation that made sense. Annoying as fuck...but it's my head, so that's not a real shock, now is it?
Sep. 29th, 2003 05:10 pm (UTC)
funny ... michael was trying to explain that game to me last night ... and i sort of understand ... but i was thinking ... it's one of those things i'd have to see and do before the idea would make sense ... he could talk of it for hours and i'd still have to see it.

i don't know how i am with writing. I guess i am better when i can put it down and re-read it, and see how my ideas work out on paper .. it's still hard for me to get it from brain to paper.
Sep. 29th, 2003 05:11 pm (UTC)
really, you have to see it.

and once I came up with a decent explanation, it made sense to everyone...but it still needs to be seen.
Sep. 29th, 2003 04:36 pm (UTC)

shouldn't* waste my time, i mean.
Sep. 29th, 2003 04:59 pm (UTC)

But everyone's sorta messy. I hate people that are afraid to leave a mess sometimes. THey're.. creepy.

Don't worry Shiny. It's not just when you have a camera. *G*

But you should take a picture of TC. Why? Cause I havne't seen it since like... June. July? July.
Sep. 29th, 2003 05:12 pm (UTC)
some people don't read you, and you shouldn't care ... some people don't read me, and i don't care ...

i write in here just to get stuff out of my head and into someplace safe ...

and thanks, alex. I know how annoying i am.

If i ever get back there ... you still coming out over the winter?
Sep. 29th, 2003 05:17 pm (UTC)
My current plan is January sometime... I guess I should start working on tickets... hmmm... that's probably a november purchase.

October purchases are presents for Jordan (maybe for my Dad) and a car (hopefully)
Sep. 29th, 2003 09:40 pm (UTC)
be nice, get something for your dad,
Sep. 30th, 2003 05:33 am (UTC)
Dous eternal scorn and hatred ount? *L* I probably shall.
Sep. 30th, 2003 09:56 am (UTC)
I was thinking more along the lines of a tie or something. but whatever works.
Sep. 29th, 2003 05:12 pm (UTC)

I'm worthless!!

Sep. 29th, 2003 05:13 pm (UTC)
not to me.
Sep. 29th, 2003 05:16 pm (UTC)
wait, i'm not?

whoa.... when did this happen?

*looks around for airborne swine*
Sep. 29th, 2003 05:18 pm (UTC)
i find you woth talking to. and worth playing pool with.

therefore, not worthless.

if i found you worthless, i wouldn't waste my time talking to you. :)
Sep. 29th, 2003 05:19 pm (UTC)
Silly girl.

Speaking of pool, we need to find a place to play!!!!

I'm going through withdrawls =(
Sep. 29th, 2003 05:25 pm (UTC)
we do.

i'll do some research.
Sep. 29th, 2003 05:26 pm (UTC)
you do the research and i'll do that driving thing.... you should come see the splendor that is my dorm too *snorts*
( 21 made me bleed — cut me )

Latest Month

May 2013


Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow